


White noise.

by withoutwords



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Infidelity, Inner Dialogue, M/M, Sex, bottom!Robert, unhappy themes, very mild reference to self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 05:08:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3637917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withoutwords/pseuds/withoutwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He teases and riles and pushes Aaron’s buttons and then he slides the pink, wet curve of his lips against Aaron’s ear and says, “You’ve no idea what I plan to do to you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	White noise.

**Author's Note:**

> I am a big fan of this pairing, even though I also hate this pairing. Make sense? So I thought I’d put my rambling thoughts into a little ficlet. I suppose it’s set during the height of the affair, before the wedding.
> 
> Just in case it is triggering: a very mild reference is made to Aaron's past self harming.
> 
> I hope you like it :)

It starts because he’s _beautiful_ , Aaron can admit. Robert’s just these long, endless planes of smooth fair skin and taut muscle. Those hips, and that neck, his stupid hair; so easy to grab with his hands and his mouth, it was just so easy. Jackson and Ed they loved Aaron, even though he hated himself. But Robert. Robert hates just to _want_ him, pushes and hurts, and it’s thrilling. Aaron hasn’t felt thrilled – hasn’t felt much of anything – for too long a time.

“You’re so fucking fit,” Robert had told him, somewhere at the start, but he’d said it like he resented Aaron for it, which just made Aaron laugh.

That happens more and more, somewhere in the middle. Laughter, or shades of it. Robert’s got a sly tongue and dry wit and he uses it against Aaron, uses it to lure Aaron. He teases and riles and pushes Aaron’s buttons and then he slides the pink, wet curve of his lips against Aaron’s ear and says, “You’ve no idea what I plan to do to you.” 

It’s like a promise. 

It starts because he’s beautiful, but then he’s something else. He’s funny, and enraging, sweet, and awful. He’s got these flickering looks from the other side of a room that makes Aaron’s whole body go warm. (He’s like cutting into skin, _wrong, wrong, wrong_ , but then Aaron feels sure, and safe, and maybe even loved. He can breathe.)

“Here, here,” Robert says, grabbing at any part of Aaron he can reach, his head thrown back and his throat rolling. He shifts and changes the angle just as Aaron thrusts in, and Robert groans so deep Aaron’s not sure if it’s the sex or the sounds that send crackling heat through his whole body.

 _That’s_ Robert, noise, always making so much noise. He scoffs and argues and lies but then he comes here. He comes here to Aaron and he makes these sounds, sometimes muted at the back of his throat and sometimes with so much volume and meaning, _Aaron, please, yes, Aaron_. 

“Like that,” he says in a strangely reverent tone, Aaron moving inside him, slick, short little pulses. It was fucking, then it was sex, and now it’s becoming something Aaron can’t name any more, the shy little smile Robert gives him just before he comes, the way his fingers dig into Aaron like he doesn’t want to let go.

After Aaron pulls out of him – drags his mouth along the inside of Robert’s knee, pulls the condom off, stops shaking – he falls back into the bed, falls back into their habits. Another day, another mattress. 

“I bruised you,” Robert says, touching at Aaron’s hip. He has this look in his eye like he’s proud, like maybe it’s the best gift he’s ever given and Aaron feels a sudden surge of _want_. “Did I hurt you?” 

Yes, Aaron thinks, the other day when I saw you kissing your wife, last week when you turned your back to me, just now when you held me like I belonged to you. Yes, yes, yes.

“No,” Aaron says instead, because he was the abuser once. Only he made fists. “Best work harder than that, mate.”

Aaron rolls over, presses his thumb to the little moles on Robert’s belly, kisses him. He thinks if this is his penance, he’ll take it. He’ll take every last drop ‘til he’s paid up.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr.](http://thefancyspin.tumblr.com)


End file.
